Woman: So are you worried about the rapture?
Man: No, unless it figures out how to open doors.
Woman: I said RAPTURE.

Man: Oh. I'm not really into that. I'm the kind of Christian who only goes to church on Christmas and Easter, and then spends the other 363 days at the Mosque.
Woman: ... I don't think that's a thing.
Man: Our rabbi swears it's legit.

Man: What religion are you?
Woman: Experimentalist monotheism.
Man: Which is?
Woman: We believe there's one god, but we're trying to find the error bars on that number.

{{Title text: But to us there is but one God, plus or minus one. --1 Corinthians 8:6±2.}}