[[Guy brings in a pocket microscope]]
Guy: Check it out - a pocket microscope!
Girl: Ooh! Let's look at stuff!

[[Guy holds a pencil; girl peers at a quarter through the microscope]]
Guy: The tip of this pencil is neat!
Girl: This quarter is really scratched.

Guy: Let's look at the skin under our fingernails!

Minutes later...
[[Guy and girl curl up in a pit of despair]]
Guy and girl: oh god oh god

{{Title text: I call Rule 34 on The Secret House.}}