[[A man with a black hat is going through a door, a bottle in his hand.  A voice speaks to him from off panel.]]
Person: Seriously?  This thing runs 
Java
?  It's single-purpose hardware!

[[The person is sitting at a computer, holding some device which is wired to a box, and pointing at the screen.]]
Person: I bet they actually hired someone to spend six months porting this JVM so they could write their 20 lines of code in a familiar setting.

[[The man with a black hat has a pair of bolt cutters in the hand that had been obscured in the first panel.]]
Black hat guy: Well, you know what they say -- when all you have is a pair of bolt cutters and a bottle of vodka, everything looks like the lock on the door of Wolf Blitzer's boathouse.
Person: I'm glad 
you
 had a nice night.

{{Title text: Took me five tries to find the right one, but I managed to salvage our night out--if not the boat--in the end.}}