[[Two people are sitting at a bench.  The woman is holding a turtle.]]
Woman: Our love is like a turtle.

[[The woman sets down the turtle and turns to her partner.  They hold hands.]]
Woman: Humble and simple, enduring by virtue of perfect design.

Partner: Our love is like a brontosaurus.

Partner: Recognized as a mistaken combination long ago, lingering only out of misplaced affection for an imagined past.

{{Title text: Well, sex is like a velociraptor: despite your movie-fueled lifelong neurotic obsession, unlikely to be found in your house.}}