[[Man sitting at computer]]I'll just comment out these lines...

MD_update(&m, buf, j);

do_not_crash();

prevent_911();
In the rush to clean up the debian-openssl fiasco, a number of other major security holes have been uncovered:
Fedora Core: Vulnerable to certain decoder rings
Xandros (EEE PC): Gives root access if asked in a stern voice
Gentoo: Vulnerable to flattery
OLPC OS: Vulnerable to Jeff Goldblum's Powerbook
Slackware: Gives root access if user says Elvish word for "friend"
Ubuntu: Turns out distro is actually just Windows Vista with a few custom Themes.
{{title text: True story: I had to try several times to upload this comic because my ssh key was blacklisted.}}