{{Advantages to dating librarians}}
Librarian: We're stopping in Baltimore to visit my family, and that's final.
Boyfriend: Oh yeah?
[[Reaching inside paper bag.]]
Boyfriend: Hey, look, it's a new hardback book!
[[Holds book in hands]]
Librarian Girlfriend: You wouldn't.
[[The book is twisted and crinkled.]]
<<crinkle>>
<<creak>>
[[Librarian Girlfriend twitches.]]
<<crack>>
[[The book's spine is broken]]
Librarian Girlfriend: OKAY! You win!

{{alt: Don't expect any leniencies on late fees, though.}}