[[Girl with black hair stands in the frame, talking to the reader]]
Girl: I'm sure you've heard all about this sordid affair in those gossipy cryptographic protocol specs with those busybodies Schneier and Rivest, always taking Alice's side, always labeling me the attacker.
Girl: Yes, it's true.  I broke Bob's private key and extracted the text of her messages.  But does anyone realize how much it hurt?
Girl: He said it was nothing, but everything from the public-key authenticated signatures on the files to the lipstick heart smeared on the disk screamed "Alice."
Girl: I didn't want to believe.  Of course on some level I realized it was a known-plaintext attack.  But I couldn't admit it until I saw it for myself.
[[Girl places her hands on her hips]]
Girl: So before you so quickly label me a third party to the communication, just remember: I loved him first.  We had something and she tore it away.  She's the attacker, not me. - Not eve.
{{title text: Yet one more reason I'm barred from speaking at crypto conferences.}}