Opinions on internet privacy

The philosopher:
[[Two women stand talking to each other.]]
Woman 1: "Privacy" is an impractical way to think about data in a digital world so unlike the one in which our soci-
Woman 2: SO BORED.

The crypto nut:
[[A figure stands behind another sitting at a desk, who is working a computer.]]
Sitting figure: My data is safe behind six layers of symmetric and public-key algorithms.
Standing figure: What data is it? 
Sitting figure: Mostly me emailing with people about cryptography. 

The conspiricist:
[[A figure stands talking to a woman.]]
Figure: These leaks are just the tip of the iceberg. There's a warehouse in Utah where the NSA has the *entire* iceberg. I don't know how they got it there. 

The nihilist:
[[A woman stands, addressing the 'camera'.]]
Woman: Joke's on them. Gathering all this data on me as if anything I do means anything. 

The exhibitionist: 
[[Two official-looking figures are looking at a console. One is sitting; another is standing behind the chair.]]
Console screen: Mmmm, I sure hope the NSA isn't watching me bite into these juicy strawberries!! Oops, I dropped some on my shirt! Better take it off. Google, are you there? Google, this lotion feels soooo good. 
Operator: Um. 

The sage: 
[[Beret guy is sitting with a friend at a restaurant table.]]
Beret guy: I don't know or care what data *anyone* has about me. Data is imaginary. This burrito is real.

{{Title text: I'm the Philosopher until someone hands me a burrito.}}