[[A man stands at a microwave, which hangs on the wall above the stove.]]
Man: How long do you zap these?
Out of panel person: Two minutes.
Man: Thanks!
<<*beep* 1>>
<<*beep* 5>>
<<*beep* 9>>
Man (whispering): It's ok, Nine. You are not forgotten.
Ever since I heard the simile "as neglected as the nine button on the microwave," I've found myself adjusting cook times.

{{Title text: FYI: If you get curious and start trying to calculate the time adjustment function that minimizes the gap between the most-used and least-used digit (for a representative sample of common cook times) without without altering any time by more than 10%, and someone asks you what you're doing, it's easier to just lie.}}