[[A social network feed with four status updates from four different people. Each one has a reply from the same account, which is called 'ContextBot', underneath.]]
Close-up face w
 glasses: The things I put up with...
ContextBot: (His building's WiFi doesn't reach the bathroom.)
Male
female couple: You'd think by now I'd have learned never to trust anyone.
ContextBot: (She downloaded a torrent that turned out to be an encrypted .rar and a ilnk to a survey.)
Blonde girl w
 bangs: I officially give up.
ContextBot: (She hit alt-tab to hide Minecraft at work and accidentally dropped a stack of diamond into lava.)
Spiky hair guy: Sighhhh
ContextBot: (He thought these grapes were seedless.)
Everyone stopped complaining about Google's data-gathering when they launched ContextBot, a system which replies to vague, enigmatic social network posts with context from the poster's life. 

{{Title text: If you read all vaguebooking
vaguetweeting with the assumption that they're saying everything they can without revealing classified military information, the internet gets way more exciting.}}